If you resist what is coming it’s only gonna get worse.
And I’m not talking about that awkward conversation with your boss you’ve been avoiding, am talking about that zit you can feel forming on your chin that you’ve been desperately exfoliating and giving the evil eye to.
And believe me, I get that the constant onslaught of pimple after painful pimple becomes such a hassle that it begins to be all that you can think about. Maybe it’s not even another zit for you, maybe it’s another bad eczema patch that’s flakier than your friend Susan. Or it could be your rosacea is making it look like you did your blush in a moving vehicle…that was also going through a dark tunnel.
Constant skin issues create vicious practices of patrolling your face daily for the perpetrators, which only results in anxiety and heart wrenching realizations that it’s only gotten worse or started up again. This then leads to adding into your everyday routine complex procedures and techniques that you hope will allow you to look at your reflection and feel good enough to face people, ironically with your face. Its Skin PTSD.
What kind of complex procedures did you have in your morning routine Julia? You may be asking yourself.
Well, bangs for one.
Fuck I had bangs I didn’t even want for years, YEARS! Side fringe, blunt cut, asymmetrical you name it and listen, holds up hand for dramatic pause, I have curly hair and live on the rainy west coast. But, I was willing to do whatever it took to cover my forehead. Yada, yada, yada…and before I knew it my routine was 90 minutes!
Oh how I remember those days.
Days spent around hiding my dark secret and feeling like a fraud because I thought that if anyone saw my naked face they would realize that my looks were really all a carefully constructed ruse. I used to have to have big purses just to carry everything I needed for my hourly touch ups.
It was exhausting.
So how do you stop the self-flagellation? How do you get off the crazy train? How do you get to buy big-ass purses without a hidden agenda?
First know that how you feel is normal! It is traumatic to your self-esteem to feel like you are battling your image every day. So here are some truths that you need to force into your brain.
- Everyone is NOT staring at your face.
- Re-read #1
- Everyone is too wrapped up in their own lives to give your skin more than 2 seconds of attention.
- People wont remember your skin’s condition. What they will remember though is if you were kind and friendly.
Next you need to desensitized yourself. This will be the hardest part, but trust me when I say it will lead to more freedom to live your life. You’re in charge, not your face!
Deep breath. You need to go out and show people your bare face.
Yes, you heard me. Show yourself bare in all its glory. It’s the only way to train your mindset from disapproval to acceptance. When you accept yourself and come to realize people love and accept you as you are, your confidence will grow and your anxiety and frustration over your looks will lessen. You’ll feel in control for once. Yes, not giving a shit is the secret. And you can learn to not give a shit. Bonus, the new found confidence and happiness you’ll feel will help your skin look better.
So you can start small, for example;
- Go for the 5 minute walk to pick up your mail in broad daylight. You might feel like you need a hat and shades on to do it and thats OK. It is hard to show your skin when you’ve been hiding it for so long.
- Run your errands bare faced. Remember you’re not gonna see these people you run into ever again! Fuck em! And if you need to wear mascara, lipstick and a cute outfit to make it through. Do it. You got this. The more you own it the less you will feel like everyone is starring at you.
- Go for lunch with your BFF, she’ll reassure you the entire time that you look fine. And thats what you’ll need to hear in the beginning.
To get off the hamster wheel you’ll need to throw it away. You are more than whatever is going on on your face. You are your beautiful eyes, witty comebacks and gorgeous heart.
On the next blog we’ll talk how long it takes to treat your acne, stay tuned lovelies.